There I was, sitting by the very lonely and low coastal area of Indian Sea
It was the break I took which I needed for taking some time out only for me and better to say think about me. Away from all the responsibilities and drama I was going through.
I was very used to walk on the way which always ended up on laughter and happiness. Never bounded and never questioned. But it was all past.
The present is:-
- I have a morning to evening job which doesn’t really pay much but I am happy having a nice Boss and really nice and chilled environment so the pay doesn’t matter as long as I don’t have a family which is all dependant on me and being a Girl it’s really sufficient for me.
- Unlike my past I live my family now. Its not really a big thing to deal with but I not used to it. But I feel bounded perhaps because it’s a lot like what’s happen to a free bird flying in sky when you put him in a cage and even worse you cut his wings. Any ways I am really trying very hard to deal with it as I love my parents and I love my freedom too.
- I talk a lot and even used to talk a lot. Just difference is I used to talk to people who loved me the way I was and cared for in spite of hoe many arguments we had and now I talk to myself behind the doors closed. People around me don’t really have time to listen what I say. But I am again trying very hard to keep the smile up.
- I am a dreamer. I love to dream about things even tough I understand they don’t exist. I look at wall and dream, I can in dream while sleeping and even keeping my eyes closed. I can dream walking and even sitting idle. I can dream about something which really means a lot and even about bullshit. Truth is I love to dream.
- An optimistic who really believes everything happens for a reason. Like if someone hurts you just chill that he is made for not to be cared and if someone gives you happiness again chill and don’t expect that next time the same would happen. Make your way out and move on.
- I am a passive reader and struggling writer. Every post I write I find is a master piece but after writing the second one I think this can possibly beat all the records. Lol. I love to paint tough even I can’t understand what I have captured on canvas but who cares anyways. I love it.
- I love everyone. Better I not talk about relationships here as it may get disclosed to my parents or may be very second day I will be shot dead. Any ways. I feel, Love is not about loving a person. It about loving that feeling when you can feel that you are an essential part of some one’s existence.
- I love my friends. Every one of them. Each of them. They are the real best things ever happened to me. I trust them more my own. I love them for being there for me and keeping on their hold of me whenever I feel am losing the grip or falling down. They are my strengths and charms of my life.
- I believe in my self as my instincts are never wrong. I even can be a spy in a way as am really very good at finding out what actually lies behind those words spoken and yes, am also really good at finding out what has been lied to me.
- Okay. Like everyone I love myself, now that is a different thing that I give more priority to people I love. I care for them more than myself and think about their happiness more than mine. But I ma really mean as I expect the same from them also and obviously end up hurting myself as few people are not worth caring for.
- My life is an open book but as a person I am not. Very unpredictable and that’s where people mistake understanding me. Sometimes they understand that what is going on in my heart as am quite expressive so the think that they know me all but what goes behind my walls of brain, in my mind is never out or known.
P.S. I really have so much more to write but I bet no one wants to listen or read about me. But you would read once my book would be a best seller.
Any ways come on; join me in discover what is still undiscovered about me as I don’t say my mind out but I write!!
I believe:-
What is happening and what is going to happen to you is always in your own hands. Fate has a very important role always but what really matters is your own efforts.
As Mahatma Gandhi said (tough I don’t believe in his ways or thoughts but I love this one)
“Nothing is small, no work is bad, and it’s always the just way you look at it. Keep your thoughts holy and see divine thoughts and love would flow through you.”
Keep exploring yourself as there really is so much you yourself is unaware of.
Love to all souls out there:-
Lalita
