That Divine Beauty..!

Beauty lies underneath the human skin, in the heart and soul then no matter if someone has wrinkly skin, dark complexion or even ugly face. This is something which gives you immense pleasure when you even think about it. Being a part of something like this is truly divine in itself. 

Whenever I think of true beauty, humanity and living for it an incident creeps in my mind. A very old incident which really made me think deeply about our life and the motive of living.

Few years back when I was young and around 15-16 year old. When I hardly had any clue about what life really is; was selected for a Desert trekking Camp held at Bikaner, Rajasthan, India. I was the youngest participant so was being cared by everyone. In desert where greenery was hardly seen and water wasn't at all available, I was nearly dying with thrust. I had already walked 2-3 Km surviving on few drops every now and then. We all were running out of water and the next stoppage was only after 5 more Km. I felt the world going dark under the burning and smoking heat in that month of May. 


No sign of any human being too. Just when I thought I would now collapse we heard a sound of Camel coming from somewhere nearby. A ray of hope crept in. We rushed towards that to find a small hut with grass made up and man standing next to his camel there. I felt breathe of relief going down my spine. It was a Pyau (A place where water is kept in pots for the travelers).

I was so happy that I almost ran towards it. There was this old very dark lady with wrinkled hands and face or everywhere. She had large white spots on her body. I didn’t really find it hygienic. As my face expresses a lot about what I think, Pankaj (An elder guy in his early 20's who took care of me during whole trip) pulled me back towards him.

"Stop making faces. it doesn't look good. Drink water". He whispered.

"Yeah, but she is so ugly. What if her hands are not washed? What if there would be germs in water? What if I fall sick? No, I won't have water from here." But I had no option. Looking at her hands, her cloths, her face I had water. I was about to cry with frustration.

I think that woman sensed the fear in my eyes. Smiling she called me with a gentle voice and said something which I don't remember exactly word by word but the meaning was "If you living for yourself, it’s not bad but if you living only for yourself then your life is not even worth living. You might be scared of doing something you don't know about but if you scared of doing something which you know is good for you, which is foolishness."

That time I thought those things was irrelevant but after hearing about her story from that camel rider I just knew what she was talking about.

Her husband was died in a war when she was just 27. At that delicate age her in-laws threw her out of house calling her a curse on family and thought her disease was a proof of that. They told her to leave and never show her ugly face. 


She had nowhere to go. She roamed everywhere and then finally opened this place for water from the money government gave her and was living there since then. She was bit literate so she started teaching small girls and their parents gave her food for that. 

It’s been 50 years and things have been same since then. People came and tried to give her money but she always refused. There were funds for that place to renovate and she used them for the same. A true example of living for the land who gave you birth. No desires, conditions and expectations, just a Nobel cause. So visible but still living in the Fog..!

Though there were plenty of gossips about her but still the goddess went on living for a cause to make that difference..!! To spread something which she never got; Love..!

She was beautiful, truly blessed with beauty. Divine Beauty...!!!

What Defines What!!

The cold breeze and that first drizzle in Mumbai. That green view out of damp balcony and the cup of coffee. The air playing with your hair and the drops kissing the forehead. Skidding kids with those tiny boats in water and laughter. What else you can ask for a perfect Saturday morning. I looked at the window and thought of painting my thoughts on the canvas.

As soon as a gathered my thoughts to create my new masterpiece; a communication of few years back crept in my mind. The weather, city, and cup of coffee, drizzle everything was just same but I wasn't.

A 21 year old very next door girl for whom life was easy, who was still in the dream land and in her own small comfort zone.

"Hey, see the new story I have written and see the poem too. Tell me how does it sound?" It was me asking my best friend, for his opinion which was needed in every tiny thing I did.

"Put it on the table, I'll see once I get some free time." As usual there was lack of time.

"See now no please. Just see it once; I really need to post it today." Giving up comes really hard to you sometimes.

"Ok." listening it was a pleasure.

"Fine they are." A cold response he gave me after a good 10 minutes of scrolling up and down on the screen.

"Okay. Hey, you know what I was thinking to make my career in Advertising and creative communication. I am planning to pursue this course. What do you think?" I gave him the form of the college. This was much needed, support and guidance.

"I don't know about doing the course and all but you are not creative than why to do that?" He looked at me as if it was really hard for him to believe this.

"Am I not? But it’s you only who say that I am. Any ways, than what creativity really is?" I was not incensed but really surprised.

"Yeah, I mean you can write things, make things up but not creative. It’s like you do nothing creative. Creative people are different. They are always busy doing something creative and do new things." and he went into his work again.

I stood there, keeping that form of the Advertising Institute in hand, looking at him in amusement. It’s not that I don't agree that people keep doing creative stuff but after working for 9 hours towards survival and 3 hours of travelling in pollution, what does he expect me to do. How do I make him understand that creativity needs a space, its own space to breathe and the important thing how do you define it.

For me it comes in the way you talk, you smile, you make someone happy, the special you make someone feel, the pinch of every small surprise you give, a single note or line, everything which is unique in itself is creative.

What do you think?

And I Was Moved..!!

I really thought that I can't handle it,

I won't and couldn't ever get over it..!!

Tough I managed to escape a phase,

But then had stepped into forbidden place..!!

knowing inside that what could happen,

What If the feelings would get sharpen..!!

Still I stayed back, liveed  in dream and hope,

Things would get fine so stayed, can't elope..!!

Wondered why did ever thought it would last long,

He brandished that paper in Court, still I stood strong..!!

Realized  how could a paper and pen write your destiny,

Everything becomes important, then doesn't matter how tiny.!! 

Things what create history..!!

"She is so graceful, so pretty. Isn't she?" Eli whispered in my ear slowly.

"Yeah man; she is just wonderful". I really envied her. 

In the long white gown she was really looking like a goddess. There was only a thin gap between them two. What a feeling it must be. Happiness and jitters; all mixed. The fear of the big responsibilities and the smile of being with someone she always had loved.

What a great show at a great place with greatest people of the world.

Though there were some streaming problems but still YouTube had done a great job for the broadcasting of Royal Wedding and that too watching it in the official hours, it really felt like we were having a leisure time witnessing the great wedding of the century which is going to create a history.

Canvas..!

On the big canvas of our small life,

We paint something new everyday;

we paint lot of love and happiness,

and even hate and sometimes envy..!

If the image was bit transparent,

We used paint to make it all cover;

To hide the stiff or bitter reality,

We made the standards so lower..!

Is it the nature of the every human,

Or is it something we have to hide;

Think, Its just the curtain we put over,

So won't be really hard to remove or slide..!

When Lives need Help..!

I moved a bit further. I went near her. Looked at the face which must have been young and glowing before these fine wrinkles made their home on that.

I said looking at her basket "Give me a dozen. How much for?" She looked at me and smiled.

"A hundred" she replied slowly. May be the killing heat affected her so badly. 

I took the bag from her, she lifted her both hands to give blessings and smiled. I moved on, feeling happy that I might have helped her in some way. To me she resembled someone.

Thinking of these people who have to work like this even after this age is of resting and be in comfort. A remember that story my great grand dad used to tell us.

Few years back there was this one lady who moved to India leaving her fine and lavish life behind for taking care of homeless and rejected people. To spread some love among those who were not that fortunate.

The world passed by that footpath on what there was this a kid lying from like a day or more and no one seemed to even bothered. That dark and rainy night in which a sleek figure was walking down the street without even an umbrella. She stopped by there, looking at that thin tiny boy, she sat down. She took his hand in hers to feel his nerves and kept it back on the floor. She looked up at the sky and jointed her hands to pray. Lifted the kid in her Arms and walked off. To a place where he can get some peace at least after dying. so that even they can get the sleep which we all have. A sleep of relief and peace.

She was Agnes who was known as Teresa. Mother Teresa. 

May be we all need her once again and even stronger. 

Unfinished Jobs..!!

"Lets get married next year..! What say?" I heard and almost spilled the coffee with shock and laughter.

 

"What..!!! What does that supposed to mean." I said sipping the relishing coffee with the cake, looking at his face glowing with smile.

 

"Stop fooling around" I managed to say and burst out laughing.

 

"Hmm, what made it sound foolish by the way?" He asked seriously.

 

"What?" I looked at him with amusement.

 

He said nothing but kept smiling. A smile which was different from any other ordinary day.

 

"No no no no no...! It can not be happening. You really mean that. Are you serious? Really? On Shit; good god, , Mercy please." I said in terror.

 

"What.!" His smile faded. He seemed taken aback.

 

"See, we are not even in a relationship. We are just friends for god sake. I never even thought about it ever that way. How do you expect me to react? We are just in final year of gradution and its still not over yet. I am any which ways leaving the city next month. There are still so many things we have to think about like our further studies and career. I think you should take some time and think about it." I tried to sound as grown up I could.

May be I always knew it but wasn't just ready to accept the way it was.

He didn't say anything, just nodded. May be because he knew me so well. Discussion was over.

 

The knock on the door brought me back into the present.

 

"Who is it?" I asked. What a bad timing I thought. 

No response. I opened the door to find an enevelope lieng on the doorstep.

 

My visa application was granted for Spain. Now I had everything. 

Satisfactory life, fun friends and a job which keeps me busy travelling. But I missed him, his presence, his support, the best friend I ever had in life with whom I never needed to speak my emotions or anything out.

 

That was the last conversation we had sitting together before I had left. After that we had met online so many times and even spoke on phone for few minutes but the lack warmth could be felt.