Wednesday, November 24, 2010

A Ride Unforgettable!!!

Recently I happened to have a ride on slow Mumbai local train after such a long time. I don’t have to travel much as my work place is hardly 20 minutes ride from my home so cab and the bus are the easiest ways to travel. Yes, the place where I used to work before or I better say where I worked for not more than 3 months was a bit far from my place. But again my directions were different so there was no much of crowd in the trains. Well, being a kid of Indian Navy Personnel we are actually destined to live in one of the most posh and well maintained areas of Mumbai, South Mumbai.

Well, okay!!! That’s not what this post is about. So I happened to have an exam this Saturday and unfortunately the center was in Western Suburbs of Mumbai. For them who don’t know what they are, let me tell you. The most crowded places with people and traffic plus most polluted areas which are situated on the western line of Mumbai are called western suburbs. Even tough it was a very Sunny Saturday afternoon the train became too full to travel.

Well, I got the train from Church gate which happens to be the place from where the trains start, so was all empty. I boarded it with no hassle as I reached there in advance.

The journey was really amazing and the weather became so pleasant so I was actually enjoying the ride as the cold breeze was playing with my hairs my face with its soothing touch. That time I never knew that this journey which am enjoying so much right now is going to leave a remembrance on my mind for whole life.

Okay!! So what happened was after like 3-4 stations we crossed the train became so crowded tough it was only ladies compartment!! I thought of standing of the gate as it was really suffocating inside. Suddenly I heard a sound which was really loud. I really thought that someone might want to shuffle their places so they are arguing upon that. I turned around to see what’s going on and I saw two ladies shouting at each other on top of their voices.      

1st lady “what the hell on earth you think you are? How dared you to push me, bitch. What if I would have fallen?”

I literally stared at her face. She was sitting on a seat comfortably. I looked around at the people standing and of course they must be getting more pushes from around but still quite.

“Even tough she would have fallen, where would she fall? Not off the train for sure.” I wondered.

2nd lady “what do you expect me to do in this so much crowded train? If you don’t want to be pushed, why don’t you come by your own vehicle, bloody whore?”

1st lady “yes, why you would not know? You some pander or what?”

This was it and the conversation started in their local languages which end up with them pulling each other’s hair like anything and shouting without caring about people around.

I really could not understand what they were talking but first time in my life I saw this kind of face of people who call themselves urban.

“Why are we becoming so impatient and intolerant?” I thought and got no answer. 

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Lost in You!!!

I wondered, what I did so God gave you to me,
I am blessed, no one can replace you, be it any!!

I am really happy, even more I am delighted.
It’s always only you, with whom my life lighted!!

You are my real charm and the sun shine,
Just keep your hands clutched into mine!!

Be yourself always, you don’t have to pretend,
I am with you every turn or be it every end!!

It seems like time has just passed in an instant,
I was really alone before and life was all vacant!!

It feels complete now, I have no desires,
I have everything for what one only aspires!!

From 3WW:-

From Three words Wednesday

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Lost Treasure Revived!!

"Happy Birth Day" Everyone shouted as soon I entered in the lobby. I really got scared as I wasn't really expecting this. Real Happiness I felt that day after such a long time. Tough I was in bad mood, I could not recollect why I was feeling bad before. Their gesture made me feel special. 

Suddenly I felt a warm hand on my back. I turned around and froze. Oh!! So Surprise wasn't over. Someone whom I haven't seen in like ages were in front of me with their those special smiles on faces which always helped me in tough times. 

My reason of smiles and my support in all times were there, immediate next to me. I was still froze, not knowing what to say I broke into tears. 

"Stop Crying you fool, You don't have enough energy. You have turned old now." and we all laughed out loud. Jai always had his humour.  Tough I could not hold all of them in my arms, I hugged them. I felt cared and loved.

They travelled so far just to make it for me. I really felt all alone all these years. 

"God!! I love you, Guys!! I missed you all so much. I hope it isn't a dream." I whispered and there it was. Again, my eyes seemed like waterfall again. 

"Ok. We all know how much you can cry so don't prove. and Sweetheart, we are starving so I hope you treating us unlike college." and we laughed again. 

I missed them. I missed those moments. I missed those mischiefs. I missed every moment of my life. How many times I craved to relive them. How many times I prayed to god to give me one more chance last time. 

But today I was happy, really happy!!!

I looked at the window and saw my husband smiling at me. He looked happy, more than me.

He moved towards me and clutched my hand into his "I was really longing to see you happy like this since ages. I thought you lost your smile only being busy in us. I am really sorry that even I also forgot that You also have a life without us too".

I looked at my love and hugged. "I love you" he whispered and I felt complete.

"I love you too, after all you have given me all memories to treasure my whole life" I thought.

May be this is something Good relationships are like, To be able to express what comes into your head, and know it will be understood as you meant it. To be more yourself bcz all of U is able to love in a way the other responds to..

From 3WW:-

From Three words Wednesday


Sunday, November 7, 2010

Living That Scare!!!

"Mommy!!!" I shouted my throat out till the time my Mom reached my room. Its not that I live in some 4 floor big house but still it took her whole five minutes to travel in our 3 BHK flat.. 

"What the hell on the earth is wrong with you that made to shout like this at past 3 midnight?? What is the matter?" She was really annoyed as I disturbed her deep nap. I couldn't believe my Dad was still snoring like nothing happened. 

I really felt very bad for her. She must be very tired after all household chores she has been doing all day. But I couldn't help as I got really scared.

"I felt it. I felt it so close. I felt like it was on me. Walking or I don't know what. But its was there." My voice was trembling when I said.

"What are you talking about beta?? Who??" She asked while scanning my room, each corner. She was really confused what I was talking about.

Me, poor thing. No one can understand what I was going through.

"That thing, that thing mom which I was telling you all in the morning". I uttered. 

"Nothing Beta, you better go to sleep. Its nothing. See, there is absolutely nothing". She said and left the room.

I sat on my bed looking all around. Where it must be? How come no one can see it but me. I felt like crying. I was tortured like never before now.

It left all its signs everywhere like my book shelf, my cupboard, my study, almost everywhere. I saw it. I felt it all around. I feel it's the existence near me then why no one else does.

This wasn't the first time. I was feeling it from last so many days. I saw it. I lived it. It goes all over me nights leaving me in a fear I live whole night. I feel a fear when I switch my light off while going to bed in night. I get scared while opening my drawer for taking my things out. I had already emptied my cupboard from the fear that what if someday I open it and that comes straight on me and kept all my clothes in my Huge Suitcase which I had back in Hostel.  I couldn't help it.

One day I came back home after having such a long day at work to see my whole room like a mess. Actually My Mom spied about "What-that-thing-would-be-which-scares-me..". I needed a bed but ended up on sofa.

This was it. I thought of getting rid of it anyhow. I need to be brave enough to live this scare now. I need to live freely.

And end of it was really amazing. I was going through the e-TOI while having a coffee and there it was looking into my eyes. I saw it again but couldn't hold my gaze for longer. 

I dint shout but whispered.

"Mom, come here fast".. I really felt relieved when She really heard me. 

She came and froze on the door itself. She also saw it. She looked at me and then the curtain.

There that was, swinging on the curtain. Free from all world thinking that it is really safe there.

 A big fat Rat. We found it finally then getting rid wasn't really hard.   

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Changes Unexpected!!

He shouted abruptly “No, not anymore, I am really much done. I can’t handle your drama now. I am tired of giving explanations to you over and over. Something is stuck in your mind so you can’t think anything else now.”

And he kept saying but I hang up and the phone. I could not hear anymore as I broke into tears.

He would not understand. Being a guy he won’t understand how much it hurts. I was amazed as he also knew what he meant for me. Like a Kernel he had become for me lately. My whole life started revolving around him only. He was like essence of my life, much needed and even important than my own existence.

Words hurt more than the acts. Couldn’t he be more decent or polite a bit? How hurt I was, couldn’t he imagine. He shouted on me in front of people who don’t even know me. Where was my fault? Was it loving him a lot or caring for him??

The thing he used to feel even in absence now seem drama to him. My emotions now seem over reaction to him. My concern seem over possessiveness to him. Yes!! I couldn't wield my heart and I can not ever.

I could not understand where the charm we were loosing or where the warmth flied. His whole world used to be between my arms. He used to forget his all work pressure or tension with me.

Where are we moving to?? My sad heart really craved for ease.

From 3WW:-

From Three words Wednesday