Dear Indian Politicians.!

Dear Indian Politicians,

I suppose the main element of being a ruler to know what to do & when. Theories suggest your duty is to be a person the society can look up to. Now you see, the point is every now & then we too indulge in some sort of profitable activity which is not ethical. Fine, our leaders made some mistakes, we forgive them. Is that really that hard if we want to see the nation in a good shape?

But if we look at our politicians in parliament, they are incapable of taking even light-hearted banter. They are discussing the matters that hurt nation’s dignity. Time magazine called our Prime minister ‘The Under-achiever’ & all parties are worried about how their party is going to perform or how much profit who has made.

I really think its times that we rise above all of it & really think about what we need to do as nation. Where are the days when people did not even think about their lives before fighting for the nation? Are we so incapable of raising above all these things?

This is not it. We, the taxpayer pay for the luxury you get. We pay for those ‘Lal-batti’ cars you travel in or the special quote u get in Air-lines or railways. Can’t we expect you to be a little dignifies & think about us? Really we do not want you the drag that SC/ST promotion in Lok-sabha, then Rajya-sabha & then again bounce to some other committee. 

You think its makes us proud that we elected are such leaches who drink our own blood. Land scam, Adarsh scam, 2G scam, coal scam, MGNREGA, PSD system, mining scam, KG Basin Oil scam, BBMP Bangalore scam, CWG scam & many more. How many more u need before u realize that you need to “Grow Up” because the day we grow up, u’l loose all ur chances of growing up.

Regards:

An Annoyed Indian Citizen

Adios Mumbai..!

Many options I had; just too many to rely on. Just a lot to struggle for and think about over and over. The state of indecision made me anxious. Just so tired and lifeless. Which way I should choose? Should I keep trying or just let the fate take me where it thinks I belong? Confusions and more of them. Just too much to take.

Okie it all what I have written sounds really heavy but trust me It really was though it was just about choosing a college out of six completely nice options I had. Moving away from the city, friends, people I love the most, my family, the atmosphere I was used to, the sea shore, marine drive and so many other things wasn't that easy but some how I have to manage.

I moved here 2 years back leaving my all college memories behind, my friends, loved ones everyone and everything behind. I still remember those days when I used to sit by the window seeing people roaming with their friends and really cry loud with tears at home. It was me who used to walk alone on the road thinking no one would really care if I even get lost in the madding every time running crowd. But slowly it grew on me and I grew matured with it. The locals and the rains. The Street Foods at the Sea Shore. Walking in the sand bare foot not realizing when the sky grew darker. Seeing the sunset sitting on Marine Drive and seeing those friends laughing. Everything just so special, too much to remember and even lot to love about.

So here is the day I am sitting here writing my last post from Mumbai. I may come back to the city but not any time soon for sure. May be in a year or can be never. I am moving to Bangalore tomorrow; the pub city or Garden city or Silicon Valley of India. Life takes you every where you never even thought you would ever move to. So I am moving from here; bidding good bye to the city I could feel mine after long, the city which made me fall in love with it. The city which adapted me within so smoothly.  

   

Only If..!

Only if the feelings were still alive and soul wasn't ceased,

Only if things would have been the way you could feel pleased..!

Only if the tiny things don't look nasty because of the Ego,

Only if you just stick to people you love and don't just let go..!

Only if you could hold my hand tight and cared to talk,

Only if you could wait bit longer and we shared a walk..!

Only if the world go the way you think it really would,

Only if you dream impossible and work the way you should..!

Only if  the warmness of heart doesn't start to feel like heat,

Only if the records were set for the love and you could beat..!

Only if it was really so easy to move on and heal a wound,

Only if the breaking the hearts and hopes could make a sound..!

Silent Words..!

For that one tiny moment I felt I was really gagged. There was a lot to say but it seemed like words got stuck in my throat. How many times I had imagined this converstaion on this particular moment thinking that I was being omitted and left out or almost forgetton. How many nights I spent wetting my pillows, I even lost the count of them. There were  so many questions but no one could answer even one.

I felt a flood of tears coming out but I had to mantain this patient somehow a bit longer. The voice which used to make my world thrill in one instant and I thought was lost; was there again,  standing right there in front of me. 


No questions were asked and no answers given. The moment just passed in the silence with the gaze and everything seemed just so perfect once again. 

And the Usual Stuff..!

"I am so sorry honey that I am again late” This was the 1^st thing he could say once he entered home.

“You know what hon; this is not something which is not erratic and now even I am used to it. It’s fine. It hardly affects me now. Any way how was the party? You must have had too much fun that you had forgotten that we had plans?” I was already irritated with this behavior. I mean for how long one can take this over and over.

“No babe, it’s not like that. Let me at least clarify it and give reasoning” and I was all set to hear a new story with so many lies in luminous background. I couldn’t really understand that how much time it would take him to understand that he actually cannot lie to a journalist-to-be as I wouldn’t take any time to find the truth out.

“There was this one bad omen so I could not leave the place early. I had to stay there for longer.” He tried his best to make sense.

I smiled and moved toward kitchen to clean dishes.

“Man, how you always figure out my lies? Hey, you already had food?” He sounded amazed.

“Yeah, I had and now I think I just started knowing you so well.”  How predictable things become I thought.  

Biased...!!

His Jumbled thoughts led her away,

He couldn't even dare to ask her stay…!!

Truth was naked and she was gone,

Holding her heart like a hard stone..!!

His grin showed as he didn’t care,

What went wrong no one was aware..!!

They always seemed like connected souls,

Now everything appeared under some fouls..!!

The love used to seem like on cloud nine,

Why it changed when everything was so fine?

I wondered why path of honesty was so greasy,

If this loving and then moving on was so easy..!!

And I Was Moved..!!

I really thought that I can't handle it,

I won't and couldn't ever get over it..!!

Tough I managed to escape a phase,

But then had stepped into forbidden place..!!

knowing inside that what could happen,

What If the feelings would get sharpen..!!

Still I stayed back, liveed  in dream and hope,

Things would get fine so stayed, can't elope..!!

Wondered why did ever thought it would last long,

He brandished that paper in Court, still I stood strong..!!

Realized  how could a paper and pen write your destiny,

Everything becomes important, then doesn't matter how tiny.!! 

Things what create history..!!

"She is so graceful, so pretty. Isn't she?" Eli whispered in my ear slowly.

"Yeah man; she is just wonderful". I really envied her. 

In the long white gown she was really looking like a goddess. There was only a thin gap between them two. What a feeling it must be. Happiness and jitters; all mixed. The fear of the big responsibilities and the smile of being with someone she always had loved.

What a great show at a great place with greatest people of the world.

Though there were some streaming problems but still YouTube had done a great job for the broadcasting of Royal Wedding and that too watching it in the official hours, it really felt like we were having a leisure time witnessing the great wedding of the century which is going to create a history.

Unfinished Jobs..!!

"Lets get married next year..! What say?" I heard and almost spilled the coffee with shock and laughter.

 

"What..!!! What does that supposed to mean." I said sipping the relishing coffee with the cake, looking at his face glowing with smile.

 

"Stop fooling around" I managed to say and burst out laughing.

 

"Hmm, what made it sound foolish by the way?" He asked seriously.

 

"What?" I looked at him with amusement.

 

He said nothing but kept smiling. A smile which was different from any other ordinary day.

 

"No no no no no...! It can not be happening. You really mean that. Are you serious? Really? On Shit; good god, , Mercy please." I said in terror.

 

"What.!" His smile faded. He seemed taken aback.

 

"See, we are not even in a relationship. We are just friends for god sake. I never even thought about it ever that way. How do you expect me to react? We are just in final year of gradution and its still not over yet. I am any which ways leaving the city next month. There are still so many things we have to think about like our further studies and career. I think you should take some time and think about it." I tried to sound as grown up I could.

May be I always knew it but wasn't just ready to accept the way it was.

He didn't say anything, just nodded. May be because he knew me so well. Discussion was over.

 

The knock on the door brought me back into the present.

 

"Who is it?" I asked. What a bad timing I thought. 

No response. I opened the door to find an enevelope lieng on the doorstep.

 

My visa application was granted for Spain. Now I had everything. 

Satisfactory life, fun friends and a job which keeps me busy travelling. But I missed him, his presence, his support, the best friend I ever had in life with whom I never needed to speak my emotions or anything out.

 

That was the last conversation we had sitting together before I had left. After that we had met online so many times and even spoke on phone for few minutes but the lack warmth could be felt.

Times when Unfair..!!

"What???" I looked at him surprisingly and yeah, obviously after that fight of last night it was such a surprise to see him standing next to my bed early morning. He almost scared me.

"I made you breakfast and tea. Wake up or you will be late for work" he said.

If it would have been like a normal day I would have overwhelmed with joy but those words of last night were still fresh in my head.

I looked at the clock, turned my head towards wall and again went to sleep "No work today, I am taking a break, will go out somewhere with friends".

I could feel him standing next to me still waiting for me to wake up but as I said it wasn't another day. All his lies and the act of disloyalties stood up against him and stopped me from melting once again. I felt like kneading my head. It was already paining badly because of the tears outflow whole night.

"Okay, and yeah, I have cleansed the kitchen too so you take care" and he left for work.

How much effort a sorry would cause him. and even if he says sorry would I be able to be the same ever again.

Was it my fault that I made my world go around nothing but only him? Did I expected more than I deserved by any chance? 

                Not I guess. Instead of breakfast a break was much needed I suppose.

Life's Own Way...!!

I wasn't really sure if it was an illusion,

It was hard to reach to any conclusion,

All Reasons were evident as I could see,

But still my soul din't crave to be free,

I wondered where my life was heading,

No directions I could see but was gliding,

Relying on the fate was the only option I felt,

let life make its way and problems would melt.

Things were not tragic if we see them other way,

Everything gets fine all you have to do is just stay.

Life always has its very own way to move ahead,

Only hope and love we can live upon and then spread.

Questions and even more of them..!!

We do feel empty and alone quite often, don't we? 

Life seems meaningless and peculiar, doesn't it? 

What do we want to generate and live basically? What is it really of which need we are not able to figure out and then fabricate?  

May be its just a change in the routine life we all are seeking but knowingly or unknowingly we refuse to adopt it or may be its just our belief system is so adamant that we don't even want to get out of it and face the reality.

Are we really so weak to face it or its just we don't want to get out of our comfort zone even if it doesn't give us the same comfort which we used to feel being teenagers. 

Too many questions on a tiny brain and a trap of feelings and thoughts all around. Which way to go and what to follow; deciding this is not as easy as it sounds.  

What seems the best is only an escape form everything what bothers you but it isn't so easy..!

Is it...???

World Cup Fever..!!

Everywhere World Cup fever was there,

Loud applause only thing you could hear,

India seemed to have a persuasive power,

Sachin made like rain of runs every over,

Joy fills in us when the runs riches all,

Cup is all ours if we perform well overall,

A new Story!!

I stopped and looked back at him,

That glow of my face had become dim,

He waved his hand at me with a smile,

We'll be walking away now every mile,

That love and care suddenly seemed to fade,

We never knew life even has this dark shade,

The pain may was identical or may not be,

Feeling was different as it wasn't any spree;

I felt an ache in head as things came like volley,

Dual state of mind but pretends to take it easily;

It was the time that we bid each other good bye,

We knew it wont be easy but we had to try,

I walked off thinking about that each day of glory,

then thought but this is the beginning of a new story!!

That Way!!

You do feel tantalize,

Things get complicated

Sometimes even before you realize,

Reality haunting all around,

Then heart crave for ease,

Ears wait to hear just one sound,


You wake next day with a smile,
Everything seems different
Like instant; just in a while,

Love is dainty, if you care,

Just look at it carefully

You just need to be aware.

Even Before You Know It!!

I looked at the clock. The time didn’t seem to move only. The situation was fidgeted.

"Damn!!! Can't sleep" I screamed.

Though I have been thinking about so many things; observed every minute thing of my room; still it was only quarter past eleven in night.The wait really seemed never ending.

Sleeping on the bed I looked at my phone so many times. The wait and the feeling almost made me anxious. It was like someone just enters in your life, becomes really so important and you still wondering about what it is.

Though just friends was just too less to mention; It wasn’t like I was felling in love but I never felt this affinity for anyone ever before. It was different. A different feeling and attachment for what I could not get any answers. The more I tried to be reasonable to myself the more complicated it was getting. Something I can not explain. Suddenly it seemed like my “A Open Book” life had a mystery within. A trap which looks all solved until you really try to solve it.

And a beep made me come back in reality from my wonder thoughts land. I looked at the phone and picked up. I felt an unknown smile gliding across my lips. ‘All questions has answers’ I used to think; well, not anymore.

What Makes A Difference!!

Sitting on the edge of that broken bed; I looked at that thin black figure lying down on the same bed near me. Her senses were blacking out with every breathe she tried to take.

“Life isn’t fair and juicy always but still you have to live with it. Either accept it or put your entire self into it to make it according to you” I thought.

Dealing with domestic violence all her life and now struggling with death still she didn’t want to file a complaint against her husband. It really stressed me out. Need of education and improvement of life was clearly seen.

I couldn’t help it or do anything but it made my determination of working for society towards the improvement, even stronger. To do something what really makes a difference. 

If could put a STOP!!!

Everything seemed so uneasy just in a blink. They were friends and they still are; but she never expected this to happen between them or may be there was something she sensed already but could never believe it as she never wanted it to happen. Sharing those warm talk or thoughts on few occasions initially would lead them till here, she didn’t imagine ever.

What is going on? What is it she has a feeling of but doesn’t really know? Heights on confusions it was. He was a decent person; a really nice friend and kind heart human who gives respect to everyone but still this wasn’t something she could carry comfortably.

She thought of few things, few past days and few talks but still it wasn’t really enough to decide something delicate like that.

She had just one option finally “going with the flow and let everything happen the way it’s supposed to.”

Taking a deep breathe she smiled looking out of window. Life isn’t always the way you plan it. It can be even beautiful than that sometimes.

Somethings Sometimes!!

Cheerful faces and handful of happiness,

Even calling that bliss would be less;

A small life was lying there quite in my arms; it is my only life I felt that time. I looked at my husband; saw him standing there near the door with wet eyes. What a feeling. A life came on earth through me.

I looked at my dad, saw him smiling with tears. I smiled at him and he whispered “now you would realize that I wasn’t abrasive, it was my concern for this small piece of life which to die for.”

My husband approached and bounded us both in his strong arms; “I thought I almost lost you today. How could I bear such a huge loss? Thanks god for everything” and I felt drenched with emotions and tears.

I felt so happy that my operation made my atheist husband believe in God.

A small life brought ever shining smiles and charms to our lives.

Horror from Past!!!

It was conniption. They really made her aghast. She stood there blank, looked at the empty street and rushed towards home. It was all janky from every corner. They ruined everything. 


She closed the door behind and broke into tears. What they want from me, why are doing this to me? I never did anything bad to them as I don’t even know them. Who are they and why are they following me?  So many thoughts kept creeping in her horrified mind.  Is it something related to my past, did they find me, do they know who am I? 


Oh Lord, please save me. How long the ghosts of my past will scare me? She crashed on bed and scooch over to get the remote. A bit of music might help her to relax her senses a bit.